The video everyone needs to see

check out Canadian DJ Duo Funky Teknicianz at the 2003 DMC World team championships.

fuckin crazy - especially the stuff that goes on around 2:40 or so...

Funky Teknicianz - 2003

A New Record!

Bike Commute to work: 9.51 miles

Previous personal best time: 31:34, 18.0 average mph
New personal best time: 31:02, 18.3 average mph

sweet!

A Totally Sweet Ride

This post is about a week late - work got crazy and my life kinda spun out of control. But now that I was able to enjoy the sun and get hammered over the weekend, I'm feeling mostly better.

Eitherhow, about one(1) week ago, I enjoyed a really excellent bike ride with my Chicago bike buddy and cycling team member. Our cycling team has two people in it (him and me) and mostly we just drink, but every so often we do get on our bicycles and nurse hangovers for miles.

Unlike our last trip in which we rode about 33 miles without any bike repair tools or spare parts (and one of us got a flat and had to take the train home), I made sure to pack a spare tube, pump, tire levers, and multiool. We started up near thorndale and broadway and worked our way north. however, after about a mile or so, we ran into a calamity.

My back tube popped. This didn't surprise me that much actually since I had put probably about 700 miles on it. As you can see on the left, I quickly got to work swapping out the tube. It was a bummer since we were starting to build up momentum and had only gone a couple of miles. I swap the tube, fill it to 40 psi, make sure the tire bead is seated correctly, and then proceed to pump it up to about 90psi so that I could at least ride the bike to a bike shop and pump it with a real pump to 125. However, as I was using the little frame pump, the following happened:

This is hardly believable, but the metal valve just snapped in half while I was pumping. The tube was totally ruined. I had no choice but to take my bike to a bike shop and buy a new tube. :(

My friend biked back home and drove his car to where I was stranded. We got to a shop (with a rather surly owner) and got all the parts we needed. Swapped out the tube and we were back on the road.




At this point it was pretty much smooth sailing. The day was hot but windy so the riding conditions were at times difficult but overall very comfortable and pleasant. We worked our way north along Sheridan and passed the Bahai House of Worship, which I had never seen before. If you have never seen this building, you should check it out as soon as you can. The little picture on the left hardly does it justice. This building is massive and fantastically ornate. It is so beautiful and out of place in northern chicago that I had a bit of trouble accepting the reality that I was facing.


Total trip: 23.33 miles.

PS. I have recently acquired a new digital camera. I primarily shoot on a Nikon D50 DSLR but since it is too bulky for bike trips, I will be switching from my iphone (bad camera!) to a nikon coolpix s700 for bike adventure shots. Hopefully I'll have many exciting pictures to share with all three of my readers.

More nonsense:

"IT, How can I help you?"
"Yeah, hi, um, what's the website?"
"which website are you referring to?"
"For the company? The main one?"
"What company do you mean exactly?"
"If you want to find someone?"


...

people have trouble forming coherent sentences. that is what i have learned in life.

What I Do For Fun

Yesterday I was riding my 08 Specialized Sirrus which I love dearly. It's been lovingly pounded into the pavement for about 3000 miles and is now worth probably around $350 or $400. It's not a bad bike, just not very high end.

That said, there is nothing that makes me happier than burning $4000 bikes, such as the one on the left which I toasted. I love pulling up next to one of these Cervélos, waving hi to the rider who has more money than he knows what to do with, and just burning him. Feels better than Chuck Mangione.

what.... have I become????

I generally try to avoid looking like your average road cyclist. Clothes that scream out "I CAN RIDE MY BIKE REALLY FAST!" just seem stupid to me. In fact, I take special pride in burning spandex-wearing "I-Swear-I'm-A-Cat-1" weekend riders as often as possible. That said, I do own a pair of spandex shorts. I got them on sale, and they really are the best pants for biking in hot weather. I figured the shorts would be ok as long as I wore some sort of non bike-specific shirt. I know how ridiculous that sounds, but that was my plan... until now.
My parents visited Chicago this past weekend. They are from Shanghai, the land where jackets from The North Farce are $20 and all prices are subject to negotiation. They are always nice enough to bring me some clothes, and this past weekend they brought me a nice shell jacket and a bike jersey. My First Bike Jersey. The bike jersey is pretty sweet and I look forward to testing it out on the trail.

...

Now its just a matter of time until I start looking like this champion here:

For Douchebags Only (seriously, look at that guy!)

I recently read this article in the Fashion section of the New York Times (April 15th, 2009) about the new popularity of Dutch style bikes. As you all know, I am All About Bike Commuting. Bikes are a great way to get to work for many people. Anything that gets more people on bikes will lead to better health overall and less pollution.
Dutch style bikes have a few distinct features: fenders, chainguards, and a light with a pedal powered generator. Sweet! one might say. These features make it the perfect commuter bike! After all, the Dutch do it, and everyone knows that the Europeans have more refined sensibilities than Americans and they know when something is cool. Like David Hasslehoff. and sandals with socks. and the vengaboys.
These arguments have more holes than an orgy at the playboy mansion. (too crass?) First, for the reasons outlined above, there is no reason to think that the Europeans are inherently more stylish or that their fads are somehow more legit. If you need further proof, click that vengaboys link above.
And while fenders and chainguards are very useful for the urban commuter, the generator light can go and burn in hell. A much simpler LED light is a better way to go. Cheaper, less complicated, and more reliable. The biggest issue is that these things are heavy as hell. NYT seems to think this is okay:

"The heavy frame and the angle of your legs to the pedals make it hard to get up much speed, and the wide handlebars make it a more stately, less agile ride — like driving a 1967 Lincoln Continental. You feel safer, more composed and, well, more grown-up."

This is not really a good thing. Bike commuting in heavy traffic without bike lanes requires quick thinking, quick reflexes, and quick acceleration. If you can't pick up speed quick enough, cars will start to honk at you and swerve past you on your left, increasing the likelihood of traffic accidents all around. You don't need to be Jan Ullrich, you just need a bike that picks up quickly enough that you can get up to speed in a few seconds. A responsive bike is safer for you and everyone else.

I guess it boils down to this: these bikes are expensive (1-2k), slow, and dangerous in heavy traffic. They are bikes made purely for style, but incorrectly packaged as highly practical.

The biggest reason this article makes me angry is the last couple of sentences:

"The rambunctious 8-year-old inside so many bikers doesn’t get traction. In short, you quickly understand why the Dutch don’t wear helmets — just one more style perk to top it all off."

!!!

In my opinion, that is a serious wtf right there.

An Urgent Call

Ring ring...

"IT, how can I help you?"

"um.. uh. no. nevermind... no, no, nevermind. It was my fingers. Happy Monday"

*click*

Three Wet Ones in a row

Fucking Chicago. As soon as you are done with the mind-numbingly awful winters here, you roll right into perpetual early spring where the clouds just piss on you all day for living next to a body of water. Usually around this time of year I begin to suspect that true summer will never arrive and we will go from this cold and wet bullshit right back into the bleakest winter imaginable. Seriously some days I consider just eating myself into a large ball of lard just to stay warm.

I didn't bike today :(





...

I'm just going to put up a couple decent pictures i took on the trail yesterday. Cool clouds! I was pretty much soaked when i took these pictures.

The new stem

VERDICT: Much better.

Something Awesome happened to me yesterday!

As I mentioned in a previous post, my 2005 Specialized Allez is not in great shape. One of the biggest issues I have had with the bike was that the bike is just a bit too big for me. The drop bars are just a bit too far away from the seat, causing me to reach out to grab the hoods (see image). This causes strain on my hands and my elbows and is quite uncomfortable.
Anyway, as I was retrieving my bike from the Millenium Park Cycle Center's free indoor parking last night, I bumped into pretty much the best bike mechanic ever. He has done really great work on my sirrus in the past. I had mentioned my handlebar issues to him about a month ago in passing but assumed he had forgotten the conversation. He hadn't. In fact, when he saw me, he brought me over to the workshop and pulled from a drawer a very short stem (connects handlebars to bike). It was the perfect stem to bring those hoods closer to the saddle. And he gave it to me for free.

this guy is the man.

note: photo is not my bike, but it is similar.

in case you're wondering...

In case you'd like to see what I was up to years before starting this illustrious blog, check my old old xanga here

Forming Sentences: Tricky????

As you know, I work as an IT guy at a large corporation. I get calls from people who work at the company about a wide variety of things - mostly password resets, computer rebuilds, and porn cleaning. However, a couple days I received a very cryptic call.

ME: "IT, how can I help you?"
HER: "Um, so whats the remote for the password for the remote company site?"
this question makes no sense.
ME: "... I'm sorry, can you repeat the question please?"
HER: (flustered) "The remote password! for the site!"
ME: "Which site are you referring to?"
HER: (angry) "I need the remote password!"

after a few minutes of this, I realized she just needed the password to connect to our wireless network.

...

seriously, if you are employed by a major company, I expect you to be able to form coherent sentences. And if you can't, there's no reason to get pissy when people can't understand you.

A funny thing happened on the way to my office

Riding Chicago's lakefront trail brings sweeping vistas, serene parks, harbors, beaches, and sometimes the truly bizarre. I am a proponent of bike helmets and bike safety in general. I know that a lot of people think that if bike helmet laws were relaxed, more people would ride - some anti-helmetists even try to further detract from bike helmet laws with the somewhat dubious claim that the increased deaths of cyclists (!!!!) would be offset (from a public health perspective) by the decreased chance of heart disease and obesity and whatnot from more people riding. In my opinion, that is a serious wtf right there.
Anyway, on the trail today I saw someone on a Very Nice Specialized Roubaix wearing an orange vest and helmet. Not just any helmet, mind you - a MOTOCROSS helmet.


he basically looked like this:

I'll never shit on someone for wearing a helmet. this guy is awesome.

OK SERIOUSLY WTF IS THIS

So I guess my first non-inaugural post isn't quite in any of the aforementioned subject areas, but seriously wtf is this? I get that its for big bad motorcyclists and not pussy ass bicyclists, but I don't care who you are - a backpack with sleeves is pretty ridiculous. Also, if you check the main product site here, you will notice that it is "Mil Spec". I can just see it now, commandos hiding in the bushes with sniper rifles wearing... reflective backpacks.


VERDICT: SUCK.

The Inauguration

This is the inaugural post of "Pound the Gavel", the pleasantly multifaceted blog wherein i discuss a diverse array of topics. This blog will most likely revolve around biking, music, and computers.

To start, I will now introduce myself.

I live in Chicago, and I own two bikes (well, three if you include that shitty mountain bike i found in the basement of my apartment) - a 2008 Specialized Sirrus (sweet commuter!) and a 2005 Specialized Allez. They are both pretty much stock and the Allez is right now not in great condition. I bike about 70-90 miles a week, mostly commuting to and from work - a distance of about 10 miles.

I work at an unnamed large corporation in the IT department. I fix computers and manage software and stuff like that. Its not all that interesting but I do take a lot of calls from people who do not know what a mouse is. Hilarity (or extreme frustration) often ensues. I will probably detail some of the juicier calls now and then.

I listen to hip hop. Lots of underground and older mainstream. My subgenre of choice is that new york sound from about 90-98. In other words, Rakim to just before puff daddy. I will discuss music as well.

Stay tuned for the most exciting posts you will ever read.